One more finale
by Gouki3
Summary: An analysis of the characters minds...
1. The case of Lucas Randall

Too much Evangelion. That's how this came about. And I'm kind of unsure about whether or not to post it here. Lest you all shun my other fictions for this ones insanity. And if you're going to review any of my things please, be detailed. If you don't like it, say what you don't like and vice versa. Don't just say things like 'Bad, bah, stupid... not good.' Yeah, I mean you Bockaw!...  
  
On with it now!  
  
The case of Lucas Randall - Do you love me?  
  
Lucas sat on a chair in a darkened room. Josie towered over him, her face blank. Devoid of emotion. He looked back at her, an unsure expression on his face.  
  
"Be nice to me," he said looking her directly in the eye.  
  
Nothing. She continued to stare down at him.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Again nothing.  
  
"Answer me!" He screamed at her.  
  
Do you love me?  
  
"What?"  
  
Do you love me?  
  
"Of course I do," he replied, avoiding her face.  
  
Do you love me?  
  
"Yes! Yes! I already told you!"  
  
But I do not love you.  
  
"It doesn't matter!"  
  
The love you feel, is it real?  
  
"Of course it's real," he insisted. "You kissed me, remember, we felt something."  
  
Is this just a way to escape from the harshness of reality? A way to cope with the emptiness you fell?  
  
Lucas buried his face his hands. He shook his head around he didn't want to hear this. Least of all from Josie. Josie walked away from him.  
  
"Wait! Don't leave me!" He called out after her. "I... need you."  
  
"What happened to the love, Lucas?" Marshall asked from behind him.  
  
"You say you love her, but now you need her?" Vaughn asked.  
  
Why do you love me?  
  
"Because I..."  
  
You feel needed? You are human. It is your one environ to feel needed. The one thing all man craves.  
  
"You fear being left alone?" Corrine asked.  
  
It was what we all fear.  
  
"Stop this! I..."  
  
You cannot finish what you begin. You are nothing.  
  
"I am! I am nothing! I want to be loved! I want to feel! All my life I haven't!" Lucas screamed. "You made me feel. The warmth in my heart."  
  
And so, you loved me? Like a child?  
  
"No! No! No! That's not it! Why can't someone help me? Somebody help me!"  
  
No.  
  
Lucas gasped and looked up, to find himself standing in the school grounds. Josie2, Josie and Mirror-Josie all away from him down the path. Looking at him.  
  
"Josie, wait, don't go!" He called to her.  
  
We have done this before.  
  
"Help me," he pleaded.  
  
Anxiety. Pain. Fear. What do you fear?  
  
"I don't... I fear..." Lucas looked down at the ground. "Why are you doing this to me?"  
  
What do you fear?  
  
"What does it matter?"  
  
What do you fear?  
  
"I fear... being... loved..."  
  
You want to love but you fear being loved?  
  
"All my life I've been hurt, I've been bullied I've never been truly happy. I did what I could to make me happy. I tried to live happily. Even when I wasn't happy. I was to scared to do anything about it."  
  
"You built you life on false hopes and truths?" Vaughn again.  
  
"You made me! You told me Josie loved me! You lied to me!" Lucas boomed at Vaughn. "She just loved you."  
  
"Yes, but that fact made you happy."  
  
"It was a false hope. I just felt what you felt. Nothing more," Lucas said.  
  
"But you felt something. You still felt love," Vaughn replied.  
  
And you were still hurt by love?  
  
"Yes, I was."  
  
The love you were hurt by was not real love.  
  
"No it wasn't," Lucas concurred.  
  
Do you fear all love?  
  
"I can't. That would shut me off. Make me less than human."  
  
Can you love?  
  
"Of course! Everyone can!" Lucas looked to the sky. "I do love; it's real."  
  
She does not love you.  
  
"Not Josie, someone else," he replied. "Someone close to me."  
  
Do you fear them saying no? Do you fear they would hate you?  
  
"No, you fear being hated, so you try and make people love you," Marshall told Lucas.  
  
Isn't that what you do, though, Marshall? 


	2. The case of Marshall Wheeler

The case of Marshall Wheeler - Don't hate me!  
  
Marshall awoke to find himself in his bed. Electrodes were attached to his body. He realized it was not his bed—it was a hospital bed. He swung to the side and stepped out of the bed. He was clothed. Briskly, he walked for the door and exited the room.  
  
He found himself staring into Lucas's face.  
  
"Lucas, Lucas, what's going on? You have to help me?" Marshall said.  
  
You are fake.  
  
"I'm not fake, I'm just me!" Marshall replied defensively.  
  
You want bonds from others, but you do not want the pain that comes with that—the hatred. So, you lie about who you are. You change to match them. Even the ones you love.  
  
Marshall didn't reply.  
  
Are you afraid of the truth? Or afraid of being hated?  
  
"What truth?"  
  
The truth that you are nothing. You are false. You develop bonds for people, but you do not know of them. You don't care for them. As long as they seem happy around you.  
  
"That's not true!"  
  
Do you think you're worthless?  
  
"Of course not."  
  
Do you think there are people better than you?  
  
"Of course there are."  
  
Is you brother a better person than you?  
  
Images, memories and dream flashed through Marshall's head, all of which were about his brother. And the relationship they share. Some less than happy. Others even less happy than those preceding it. Before finally they ended with Marshall killing.  
  
"Stop this!" He roared.  
  
Now that you have told people how you feel, your world is falling apart, isn't it?  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked.  
  
"He means me, Marshall," Corrine said, her hand son her hips. "You have broken the bonds that formed our friendship. Yet, with others you want more than friendship. You are afraid to create those bonds? Why?"  
  
"Because he could be hurt. He could be hated, people may not want that," Vaughn interjected knowingly.  
  
"Shutup," Marshall hissed.  
  
So you lie?  
  
"I'm not lying!"  
  
So, you ignore your feelings? Your heart and soul are unimportant compared to what they want?  
  
"I never said that..." Marshall murmured defeated.  
  
You fill your lives with people—you create false bonds, merely so you will not have to face reality. That you hate reality. That you hate your life.  
  
"But I don't!"  
  
Then what do you hate?  
  
"Myself," he replied.  
  
You wish to be alone?  
  
"No."  
  
You wish to be with others?  
  
"No."  
  
Then what do you wish?  
  
HATE.  
  
"I hate you!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I hate you!"  
  
"I hate everything about you."  
  
"When I look at you, I feel sick."  
  
"I hope someone puts you out of your misery."  
  
"You're pathetic."  
  
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"  
  
Hate. Hate! HATE. HATE! HATE! HATE!  
  
"See!" Marshall cried. "See! They all hate me! If I don't make them happy, then they will hate me! I can't have them hate me! If that happens then I'm nothing! I need them to like me!"  
  
"Not everyone hates you," Lucas said gently, as he placed his hand on his friend's shoulder.  
  
You do things for the purpose of others?  
  
"You're lying to yourself," Lucas said.  
  
"You just wait for people to bring you happiness by being nice to them. You refuse to state what's on you mind," Corrine snarled. "You won't tell anyone. You're sneaky and manipulative! You give people a false happiness so they won't hate you!"  
  
"And yet," Marshall said looking her in the eye. "That's what you crave." 


	3. The case of Corrine Baxter

The case of Corrine Baxter - I'm not happy!  
  
Corrine stared out at the horizon. It was not beautiful. The sky looked too much like blood. She heard some people laughing and returned to the festivities. A smile on her face.  
  
Does this make you happy?  
  
"Of course it does," she replied.  
  
Does this make you happy?  
  
"Yes, I'm with family and friends."  
  
Does this make you happy?  
  
"We're celebrating my success. My happiness."  
  
Does this make you happy?  
  
"My happiness."  
  
So, being with others in this situation makes you happy?  
  
"Yes."  
  
Are you happy?  
  
"No, no I'm not happy! I'm not me!"  
  
You ignore the truths?  
  
"Yes. It makes it easier. If I can keep my family and my friends happy about me—of I can give them someone to depend on—someone who won't change at all—then their lives will be easier."  
  
You sacrifice your happiness for theirs? And in doing so, you become the ultimate martyr? It gives you a reason to strike out. An excuse.  
  
"That's not true!"  
  
Isn't it?  
  
Corrine moved around in bed, feeling the warmth from the man next to her. Twenty-seven years old and she was still doing this. She scoffed silently to herself and moved from his arms She didn't even like him. He was just a convenient way to comfort herself.  
  
She moved away from him and got dressed.  
  
"I guess when you've..." She sighed. "Lately, this is all we do. I don't even love him. Idiot, Stew."  
  
Josie waited for her at work. "Finally. I've been waiting out here for half- an-hour. If you keep coming late, you'll lose your job."  
  
"I know," she muttered shrugging slightly.  
  
A pained look crossed Josie's face. "You didn't sleep with him again did you? You've got to stop doing this and settle down. You're just going to get hurt. No doubt by him."  
  
"Being with him—being with anyone—makes me feel happy. I deserve just that," Corrine countered pointedly. "I can feel happy can't I?"  
  
"But it's disgusting, you don't even love him," Josie replied. "You're just using him and you keep going back. It'll end badly."  
  
"I thought you were better than that," Marshall said entering the conversation. He hadn't changed. He was still sixteen. "You use people to make yourself feel better. You're just a pathetic lonely woman comforting herself in anyway possible. With anyone possible."  
  
You're not happy?  
  
"That's not true, Marshall," she insisted.  
  
"Going through men is just a cheap methodology," Vaughn muttered walking past them. "The only way to make you feel happy is to surround yourself with others."  
  
If you're not happy, then do you abandon your current life?  
  
"This isn't me!" Corrine shouted as the images of her life as an adult faded away. "This can't be me! I'd never..."  
  
"Never what?" Lucas asked.  
  
She looked around, but couldn't find him.  
  
"Never try and make her feel happy," Marshall answered for her. "She won't allow herself."  
  
Again, the voice was disembodied.  
  
Is happiness wrong? To forsake your happiness for others, is that right?  
  
How can you ever be alive without happiness?  
  
Happiness.  
  
Love.  
  
Anger.  
  
Pain.  
  
Is it all the same to you?  
  
"That's not true, I just wont abandon it! That's weak!" Corrine snapped.  
  
"But mankind is weak. You don't want to be like us?" Lucas walked away from her; he turned to face her and disappeared as if a light switch was turned off.  
  
That is how mankind survives. They abandon that which is of no use.  
  
Isn't that right, Vaughn Pearson? 


	4. The case of Vaughn Pearson

This chapter is one that was hard to write. Unlike the other chapters where I could draw on personal things plus everything else from the series and various discussions I've had this one and the next one were unable to be all drawn on. And also, I wanted to do a specific thing with the next two chapters...  
  
The case Vaughn Pearson - Don't abandon me!  
  
Vaughn stood in a football field. People ran around him. No one stopped to talk to him. No one acknowledged he was there. Pain was etched on his face.  
  
"This is my life. Loneliness."  
  
Why do you fear this?  
  
"Because it happens."  
  
Why do you fear this?  
  
"Because I hate being alone!"  
  
Why do you fear this?  
  
"Because if I'm not acknowledged by anyone, then do I exist?"  
  
You fear you will lose your identity?  
  
"Yes."  
  
You fear you will cease to be?  
  
"Yes. My self and the self's world will cease to be."  
  
Thus, you form bonds?  
  
"The bonds are what keeps me here! They make me human!"  
  
So, you form those bonds?  
  
Josie put her hands over his shoulders and leaned into him. "So I'm just here so you can be? I am no more in your heart than you are in the others?"  
  
"No, it's not that," he said quietly.  
  
"If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want you at all!" She pushed him forward and he fell to the ground. "I despise you."  
  
"No!" He yelled.  
  
If they abandon you, you don't go after them?  
  
"Why should I? They left me!"  
  
And so, you leave them be?  
  
"Of course, if I go after them and make them like me, how do I know they won't abandon me again?"  
  
Do you fear being loved?  
  
"What?"  
  
Do you fear being loved?  
  
Vaughn entered the college dorm with a bottle of champagne. Josie sat on the end of the bed a subtle smile on her face.  
  
"Do you love me?" He asked.  
  
"Yes," she replied.  
  
"Will you abandon me?"  
  
"No," she replied.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Is that what you want?" She asked, brushing her hand along his face.  
  
"I thought it wasn't, but now I'm not sure."  
  
"You want to loved? You want someone to keep you close? Is that what you want then?"  
  
"I thought it was, but now I'm not sure."  
  
Josie slapped him hard across the face. He clenched his hand into a fist and relaxed it immediately. "You're impossible!"  
  
You want to be abandoned. So, you can blame others.  
  
"That's not real! It can't be!" He yelled.  
  
He woke up in his own bed. "Why don't you accept me?"  
  
You do not allow people to.  
  
"That's not true!"  
  
The reality is, you are afraid.  
  
"I'm not afraid... I'm... unsure," he said trailing off.  
  
This is reality.  
  
"No it's not reality!"  
  
This is reality.  
  
"How is this reality?"  
  
Josie appeared again. This time in front of him. "It's what you want. Your truth. You don't want to be abandoned. You want to be loved."  
  
Lucas appeared to his side with his back turned. "But you believe that if you allow people to love you, if you allow yourself to love, that they will abandon you in time. Is that why you wanted me to love Josie?"  
  
"But you do..."  
  
"Reality is as you perceive it. Anywhere can be heaven as long as you make it so," Josie said monotone. "If your reality perceives rain as making you sad and sunshine as making you happy you will always believe it. Even if you can enjoy rainy days."  
  
This is reality.  
  
"Being abandoned is reality?"  
  
No. What you feel. What you see and what you desire are all a part of reality.  
  
"So, I can exist, even if the others don't want me?" He asked. "I can exist even if nobody takes any notice of me as long as I notice me?"  
  
"It's taken you this long to realize that?" Josie asked mockingly.  
  
"As long as you want yourself, as long as you love who you are," a loving female voice said. "You will need nothing else."  
  
Like an angel.  
  
Her hand touched his face.  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek.  
  
This is reality. 


	5. The case of Josie Trent

The case of Josie Trent - Don't hurt me!  
  
Josie sat alone surrounded by darkness. She felt as if she had no form. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. It was as if she couldn't move. This wasn't freedom. This was torture.  
  
You desire a world of no pain.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Pain is what makes you human.  
  
"No. That is not true," Josie hissed. "The pain is unfair. It's not necessary."  
  
Josie blinked the tears away. "I want to be free of it all. Free of the pain."  
  
A world of absolute freedom?  
  
"If it's free of pain..."  
  
"And, so you want to fill the hole in human souls?" Vaughn asked. "You want to destroy the emptiness inherent in man."  
  
Corrine stepped out towering over her. "Emptiness is something you cannot escape. It is a part of everyone. And thus, we try and fill it through meaningless encounters and relationships."  
  
"That can be done," a voice she had never heard before said. "A world where all are one. The barriers of the heart that separate man will fade."  
  
And thus, completion begins.  
  
"What is this?" Josie asked.  
  
She stood in a museum. All the paintings, the artworks. They were black silhouettes.  
  
"This is my heart?" She asked.  
  
"Yes. You have cut yourself off from the world," Lucas said circling her. A soft grin crossed his face. "But it does not matter. This isn't reality. Because no one is here."  
  
"A fabrication so you don't get hurt," Corrine said, off handedly as she looked at the artwork.  
  
Rejection. That is how you survive.  
  
"I know," she said.  
  
Josie stood at the front of an empty theatre. In mere seconds, people poured in. Seconds later the people had disappeared again.  
  
"What are dreams?" Josie asked.  
  
"Dreams?" Vaughn parroted. "Why does it matter?"  
  
She looked at his face. It was hard and cold. "I don't understand reality. Maybe if I could... I can't find happiness if all I do is get hurt."  
  
Thus, you close your heart to others.  
  
"It's the easiest thing to do!" Josie cried exasperated.  
  
Her body shook as she broke into loud sobs.  
  
"You want to feel at ease? You want to feel at peace? To not be alone?" Vaughn asked pulling her close.  
  
"Yes," she replied relieved.  
  
That cannot happen without pain.  
  
"What?"  
  
Vaughn pushed her away wordlessly. The coldness returning to his face. He narrowed his eyes at her shocked face and walked away leaving her alone.  
  
Josie gasped when she realized someone was behind her.  
  
You preferred it when you were moving?  
  
"Lucas?" She asked hopefully as she turned around.  
  
You never had a chance to get hurt then.  
  
"Help me," she whispered. The words caught in her throat.  
  
"You only want my affection when you think you'll get hurt," Lucas said disapprovingly. "You're just a child yourself."  
  
Then run.  
  
Then stop.  
  
If it's too painful, you can end it all.  
  
"When ever I let people in, I was just hurt," Josie said.  
  
She was alone again.  
  
The darkness replaced by a thick fog.  
  
She sat on a stage, glass separating her from everything.  
  
"Nobody loves me. So they should just die."  
  
Is that what you feel?  
  
"It'd be better if I wasn't here, either. So I should die too."  
  
Then what is your hand for?  
  
She squeezed her hand.  
  
"But they betrayed me!" She said. "By hurting me it was the ultimate betrayal!"  
  
"Do you really believe that?" The voice asked.  
  
You're just running away.  
  
"I can't be loved... I'm not worthy of love from other people," Josie said staring down at her feet. "If I don't accept the hurt, then I don't accept their love. But if I accept the hurt then I lose that love."  
  
Vaughn shook his head and caressed her face. "Do you really believe that?"  
  
"By closing your heart from others, you avoid the pain of being hurt. Of being rejected," Marshall said. "But you can never truly be loved or love. Thus, you will always be alone. And the pain will worsen."  
  
Truth.  
  
"I understand," Josie replied monotone.  
  
Thank you. 


End file.
